2022 has come to an end – how was it? What do we want for 2023?
Julia Magsombol | December 9, 2022
It was midnight somewhere in Summer this year. I found myself not sleeping— but just smoking cigarettes and dancing alone in my room while “California Dreamin’,” by The Mamas & Papas, was playing on the radio. I love listening to the radio. The next song is always unexpected, and it’s similar to any new years – you don’t know what it has to offer. I love 2022, but I hated it at the same time. This year is so complicated. I’d admit it was one of the worst years where I shed a bucket of tears just before I sleep. But 2023 may have some things to offer, and just like the next songs on the radio, I’m looking forward to it.
For the remaining nights of this year, I couldn’t still sleep easily. I found myself sitting in my bed. I found myself staring at the ceiling. I found repetitive memories in my head.
Memories are traitors. It lets you remember certain things that will hurt you. Thank God, I have a short-term memory, but somehow, memorable, happy, and painful memories stay with me — and the recent one I can never forget was how I stood alone at the university’s back door and waited for my first love to leave. But just before everything ended, we hugged each other. Part of me died that day. And for the first time in my life, I learned that loving someone takes a lot of courage, but it even takes more courage to let go of someone you truly love when it no longer works.
I bid farewell to one of my relationships this year. I’ve always known that losing a relationship also means losing someone. But what I didn’t know was the pain it has to offer. It was a new type of pain. I’m still learning to handle it. It was challenging to get through the day and stay focused on things.
But the other parts of 2022 were also beautiful as ever. I met a lot of different amazing people through my work and internship. I’ve published my first in-print story. I finally got my license (after nine tries. I know, it sucks). I’ve received thank you’s from people. I’ve received welcomes. I’ve received calls of comfort. I’ve received “how are you’s.” I’ve received “I’ll help you” messages. I’ve received meaningful conversations from strangers. I’ve smiled at unexpected times. I’ve started expressing what’s on my mind instead of writing them. And I’ve finally received a little appreciation from myself.
I’ve received so much good as well as bad this year. But 2023 is a new year. I hope to see my future self and what I have to offer. I hope to live fully without any regrets or remorse. I want to be okay.
I’ve talked to many MacEwan students about this topic, and it’s so comforting to hear their stories. Everyone lost something this year. Some had lost jobs, loved ones, and themselves in the process. But at the same time, they still appreciated the good things that happened to them this year.
Humans are humans. We are all the same. We all lost something from yesterday and today, yet we still hope and yearn for tomorrow to achieve something. And there’s something really beautiful and special about that.
Now, it’s time to sleep early.